Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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