I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The uberlube is also flammable
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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