How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
