why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
