Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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