no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize