I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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