you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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