eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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