You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
