Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
His nipple licking is glorious
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