Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
