I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I want to make a zoo with you.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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