if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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