You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
