You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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