NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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