I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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