thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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