how can u be prego again
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
