Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
