Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize