We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
