hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
