i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
