Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize