Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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