Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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