Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
