I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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