Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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