I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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