Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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