I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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