Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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