So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
