I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
