I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My penis needs a shock collar
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
