you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
