Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
