Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
