the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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