you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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