I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
