I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
