Pappa wants mamma naked
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
