i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize