go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
