his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
