whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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