hotel room ftw
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
