Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
