We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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