Someone shit on the floor
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
