There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
