haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
