i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
