i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
