Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
