Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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