He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
