I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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