that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize