with your own penis?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
