So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
