All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
