This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
