You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
