There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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