that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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