Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the day after is always just damage control
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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